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27 ways to stop having a bad day
By John DeVries | February 19, 2008
Everyone has a bad day now and again. But just because you missed your morning at the gym, spilled coffee all over yourself in the car and can’t stop thinking about that huge problem you have doesn’t mean your day has to stay that way. Here’s a list of all the things I personally do to feel better if my day has turned rotten. They’re certainly not all original, I’ve borrowed many of them from other writers simply because they work. Enjoy
1. Stop thinking
If you keep coming back to that same depressing thought, whether it’s a failing relationship, your debt or how much it will cost to fix your car, just stop. Stop ruminating. Going over and over a bad situation in your mind only causes you to feel worse about. It doesn’t provide you with a solution and it will kill both your mood and your day. Whenever another thought about it pops into your head, just think, “no, stop. I’m not going there.” If you do this for a few days, weeks, and months it will eventually just become a habit. Suddenly you’ll find you hardly ever think negatively anymore. This won’t just turn your day around, it will turn your life around.
2. Appreciate that you can breath
Have you ever just stopped to appreciate the fact that you’re alive? No, really. Think about it, you’re breathing… right now. But there’s no law that says that has to continue. Thousands of people on earth quit breathing and die every single day. Today, you’re not one of them! But eventually you will be! So take a moment to just appreciate your life. Just observe your breaths coming in and going out. Try it for a few minutes and just appreciate it. This almost always makes me feel better. I’m so blessed to be alive.
4. Go cry
If you’re really upset and finding you have to hold the tears back, stop trying. This is not good for you. If you’re that upset, there’s a reason. Crying is healthy, it helps you release emotions and chemicals within your body. If you’re in a public place, find a bathroom and let it out. If you’re at home, what’s stopping you? You won’t feel completely better afterward, but you will have sense of calm you didn’t have before.
5. Dispel your emotional B.S.
Contrary to the last point, sometimes your emotions are just feeding you total B.S. I think emotions are extremely valuable. They indicate to you what your true thoughts, feelings and beliefs are. Listen to them! However, they can also be irrational. And usually your emotions become irrational because you hold an irrational belief that you’re probably not even aware of. I got this theory from a book called “How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything.” by Alber Ellis, Ph.D. Basically, he asserts that when we believe and tell ourselves that we “must” have something, “should” get something or “cannot live without” someone, we needlessly cause ourselves severe emotional pain. You don’t need anyone. You don’t have to get any job. No one must treat you any certain way at all. So, take account of your emotions. What “should, must, cannot live without,” kinds of thoughts do you hold?
Once you identify them, you must aggressively argue yourself out of them with rational logic. For example:
Irrational thought: “No one loves me.”
Rational argument: “I am not unlovable, someone out there can, and probably will love me. And if they don’t, I will still be happy. But I prefer that someone does.”
Irrational thought: “I’m deeply in debt. My life is over.”
Rational Argument: “My life will not end if I go bankrupt. It might mean a difficult time for me, but lots of people recover. I will too.”
Irrational thought: “I am too lonely to go on.”
Rational argument: “I would like to have more friends and relationships, but building relationships takes time. I do not have to have more friends right this instant.”
Our irrational thoughts that cause us emotional distress are rarely grounded in reality. That’s why their irrational! Argue yourself out of them, they don’t make sense!
6. Watch something that makes you laugh on Youtube
Everybody has a different opinion of what’s funny. Youtube however, has something that pretty much anyone can find humorous. I like to look up “Who’s Line Is It Anyway” clips. Those always make me laugh, and I always feel better after spending some time laughing.
7. Get busy
Sometimes distracting yourself is an effective way of feeling better. Get some work done, watch a movie, go out or do something productive. The best tasks are ones that require lots of mental energy.
8. Vent your anger
I was having a particularly bad time a few years ago and I bought a punching bag. This was perhaps one of the best investments I ever made. I beat the living piss out of that thing numerous times. Afterward, I always felt better.
9. Take a nap
Ah, naps. I love a good nap. You might not be able to do this all the time, but if you can, it’s a great way to escape for a bit. Focus your thoughts on something pleasant while you fall asleep and enjoy some healthy dreams. When you wake up, you will feel better. At a minimum, you won’t be tired and you will have spent some time relaxing.
10. Have sex or go solo!
Preferably with one other person you know, love and trust. If you don’t have one of those at the moment, entertain yourself. I think you get the message.
This releases dopamine from a gland in your brain. It’s pretty much the most exciting and mood lifting experience your mind and body can have without drugs. You’re bound to feel at least a little better, it’s science. 
Note: Not to be attempted at work.
11. Determine if it’s really that bad
Many of us, including myself, tend to over-dramatize our lives. We think our problems are really big, they threaten our happiness and all of the things we’ve worked so hard to achieve. This really isn’t true.
Problems exist. They aren’t going anywhere. But if you’ve spent any time living at all you know that some of your worst situations taught you the most. Our most difficult moments, days, or even years tend not only to make us stronger, they cause us to become better people. Looking back, you’ll be glad you came this way and not any other.
5 years from now it probably won’t matter. Aside from a debilitating disease or the death of a loved one, in a few years you won’t care.
12. Change your attitude
Believe it or not a bad attitude is optional. You don’t have to stay in a funk. Step one is finding out what’s bothering you in the first place. Step two is then deciding to gain a new perspective or think and feel differently about your day or your problem. Your thoughts and beliefs are choices, not automated sequences. Pick the ones that serve you the best, discard the others.
13. Accept it
Accept your feelings. Bad days, weeks, months, even years happen. It’s ok. It’s part of being human. But that doesn’t mean you have to resign yourself to depression, anger, anxiety and frustration. You can accept the reality of your circumstances without letting them control your life. Once again, you have a choice. Take ownership of how you feel and do what is within your power to change it. Also do your best to accept the things you cannot change.
14. Have a Redbull
Sometimes you want to change how you feel but you just don’t have the energy. Being positive and feeling good takes effort. If you’re having a low day, try an energy drink. I try not to use too many substances that will alter my mood, but sometimes this just does the trick for me. Plus, I like them and they taste good (probably not too healthy though).
15. Plan a trip or vacation
Getting away from it all can be healthy, fun and relaxing. You might not be able to leave today, but booking reservations somewhere or setting up plans for a trip usually improves my mood. It doesn’t have to be extravagant. Just plan a three day weekend somewhere other than where you’re at. Don’t be afraid to go alone either.
16. Read a self-help book
The most significant decision you can make to improve your life and the lives of those around you is first to become a better person. You’re all you have, invest in yourself. I believe in self-improvement and that’s probably pretty evident from the material on this blog. Not only does the application of new knowledge found in self-help literature have the ability to change you, often a new perspective will make you feel a lot better. You won’t see life changing results in just one day, but a book can boost your mood big time if it has a positive message. Some of these books are full of bibble-babble and empty promises. But other’s have the potential to sow real seeds of happiness into your life. Take some time to read one, if it makes you feel good you’re at least on the right track.
17. Run till you drop
For some people this is 50 ft, for others it’s more like 30 miles. Whatever end of the spectrum you land on, inducing pain upon your body quickly causes you to forget about pretty much everything else.
I went on a 4 1/2 day, 40 mile hiking trip in Colorado last summer. I had never been backpacking before and we definitely bit off more than we could chew. I was also having some trouble back home at the time, but in the drizzling cold rain, at 10,000 ft with 35 lbs on my back, 1,600 ft elevation behind me and another 1,500 ft and 6 more miles to go, I didn’t give a rat’s you know what about anything accept getting over that freaking mountain.
Drain yourself physically and you won’t have time to feel bad emotionally.
Note: This is how many people become addicted to exercise. NOT good. You’re supposed to do this on occasion to help you feel better, not make it a life pattern. Also, be careful pushing your body if you do not exercise regularly. Consult your doctor.
18. Listen to music
Listen to happy music. Pick something that pumps you up or makes you feel good. Better yet, get in your car and sing along at the top of your voice. That’s right, be one of “those people”. It’s fun.
19. Help someone
Helping someone else always makes us feel better. It’s just a part of being human. Serving others feeds your soul. Make this a habit, not just something you do when you’re feeling down.
20. Create a vision card
I’ve got a 4×6 card I carry around in my wallet with pictures of everything I want to have, be, and do in the next 5 years. I can’t post an image because most of them are copyrighted (I’m not distributing my vision card). Download GIMP, a free image image editing program and put together a mini collage that will fit on a 4×6 card. Carry it with you everywhere. When you’re feeling down, pull it out. This is where your life is headed.
21. Avoid negative people
Negativity sucks your energy away. Don’t be a negative person and don’t spend large amounts of time with people who are. You’re emotionally sensitive on a bad day. Spend time with people that lift you up, not the ones that drag you down.
22. Play a video game
This is one of the best ways to distract yourself from a bad day or mood. I don’t game a lot, but if I’m upset about something, I’ve identified what it is, and there isn’t anything I can really do about it, a good game is a great escape. It engages most of your senses and will keep you focused on something else.
23. Take a shower
Getting clean just plain feels good. For some reason, it helps cleanse what’s inside too. Take a long hot shower. Don’t think, just feel the water pouring over you and washing away all the stuff you don’t care to have.
24. Go out
Having fun is always a recipe for a better day. Going out connects you with people, occupies your time, and helps you feel better. I don’t recommend you use this method as a way to distract you from your life, but engaged in conservatively it can make for a great ending to an otherwise crappy day.
25. Stumble upon!
Bored? Download the Stumbleupon add on for the FireFox browser. This tool takes you to a random webpage every time you hit the “stumble” button. As you rate pages it learns about your interests and chooses things you’re more likely to enjoy. After a short amount of time you’ll be laughing, learning, reading, and totally engaged in all kinds of stuff besides your bad day.
26. Go for a drive
Yeah, this one might cost you a little money. But sometimes it feels good. Plus, you’ll be alone where you can talk to yourself, scream, be pissed off or cry. Please drive safe though.
27. Talk to yourself
Start a dialog with yourself. You can do this by journaling or even just talking out loud. If you keep it up, you’ll often be surprised at what you say and the solutions you come up with. If nothing else, at least you’ll be able to get it out.
Be honest with yourself. If you’re not sure what to say to yourself, start with the truth. The real truth, not a fabricated reality that you want to exist. Tell it like it is and then talk about it.
Closing thoughts
Hopefully at least a few of those ideas will be useful to you. Having a bad day stinks, but it’s something we all run into from time to time. If you can’t make it a good day that’s ok too. Live with it, go to bed and start over tomorrow.
Topics: General, Life, Live better, Perseverance, Solve problems |