Do something different; Make a change

« How to start reading more | Home | How to write a card »

Do something different; Make a change

By John DeVries | February 7, 2008

Your emotions are signals. They tell you whether you’re in alignment with what you want our out of alignment with it, that’s definitely not my own original idea, or anything new if you’ve spent any time reading self-improvement or personal development literature. But it’s easy to simply accept those emotions as part of your growing process and just continue on your way doing in life what you’ve been doing. This isn’t necessarily a recipe for failure, but you’ll grow much more quickly if you use those emotions to make choices that differ from the choices you may have made in the past.

I’ve seen an intense amount of personal growth over the last half a year or so. From week to week there are times when I hardly recognize who I was only days before. I spent the last 6 years in Kalamazoo, Michigan and my old identity is very much tied with this location. I’m not sure I’m ready to move right at this point, but I know that it’s important to make external changes that will supplement and re-enforce my new identity. Just one of the many things I’ve done is to join a new gym. Working out has been a part of my daily and weekly routine for some time and I knew changing it up would be healthy. Most importantly, it helped me avoid unhealthy relationships from my past that re-enforce who I was before some very significant internal changes.

This morning, I was showering in my new gym and for some reason I was just blissfully happy in this new shower I had never been in before. It wasn’t anything special, I didn’t have a logical reason to enjoy it that much, it’s a freaking shower. But as I drove to work later I realized that the shower didn’t have anything to do with it. It was simply that it was a different shower, a place I hadn’t spent the last 2 years ruminating over my problems and what horrible things the coming day or week my hold.

It’s amazing how many associations you make between your current emotional and mental state, and your environmental surroundings. Even though there may not be a single thing wrong with your house, your apartment, your job, or even a relationship (be that romantic or platonic), sometimes you have to make a change. Maybe that change is necessary as a result of both your own irrational or negative thinking, and the connection between those past thoughts and your current surroundings. Other times it’s simply a matter of having outgrown something.

I wouldn’t advise you hurt people. Don’t dump someone who’s good for you simply because you just want to change something. You have to be careful when you make major decisions, while at the same time not putting off something that needs to be done.

Healthy change vs. escapism

Change can be a great way for you to boost your own personal development. Sometimes switching things up is exactly what you need. But before you sell your house, dump your boyfriend, get a divorce, or buy a bran new car, you first need to be honest with yourself.

Changing your external circumstances is neither a healthy or effective way to solve your problems. Moving to L.A. may get you away form some of the things you don’t like about your life right now, but eventually you’ll have to face reality. And if you haven’t made the internal changes that were causing those problems to begin with, your new location will eventually be full of all the same difficulties your old one had. The same goes for relationships. When a bad (or even a good) relationship ends, figure out what role you played in the ordeal. Unless you change, you’re bound to repeat the same relationship patterns in different forms throughout your life - No fun.

Are you running way? Or are you really a different person who is better, more loving, and looking to improve your life and the lives of those around you? That’s the difference.

Things on the outside that can affect what’s inside

How you feel about all the stuff around you is a pretty clear reflection of what’s inside. What do you think about your home, city, significant other, your looks, your car? Do you hate all of it? What does that say about you as a person? Are all those things a problem, but not you? Think about that a minute, how likely is it that everything around you is a disaster but what’s inside of you is tidy, organized and happy.

If you feel good about what’s on the outside, it’s likely you feel the same about what’s on the inside. If you love your car, love your house, love your city, love your friends, and love your life, I’m guessing you also love you. Before you make any changes to your world, I suggest you first take a look at your thoughts, and attitudes. Once those shift significantly, it will be rather obvious what needs to change on the outside to maintain your mental health. Some of those things will even change on their own. But here are a few ideas anyway…

Your relationships

You may not realize it, but the people you spend time with affect you. James Authur Ray, author of “The Science of Success”, encourages people to spend large amounts of time only with those who they wish to emulate. Do you want to be like your friends, family, or lover?

Location

Sometimes after living in one place for a long time you need a change. I went through a particularly difficult and painful break-up recently and it’s always difficult to have those constant reminders of that old relationship everywhere I go. If you find yourself in this situation maybe a new apartment on the other side of town is appropriate. If you’ve been recently divorced maybe you need to buy a new house or move away to start over. There’s nothing wrong with moving someplace because you like the weather better either. But don’t stay someplace that constantly makes you unhappy.

Looks

You can’t change everything about your body, but you can be healthier, look better and/or lose and gain weight. What improvements in this area could help you feel better on the inside?

habits

habits are strong with human beings. If you’re feeling like you’ve outgrown your old self, change up some of the things you used to do regularly. Get up at a different time, stop smoking, hang out with new people, start dance lessons, make your change real on the outside too.

Conclusion

Change is something we often avoid until life forces it upon us. If you choose to change first, to consciously and consistently make decisions that are better for you and other people, you will grow exponentially faster than if you just hang out, clinging to everything in your life you hold so dear. Your external circumstances are temporary - all of them. Who you became in life and what you did is eternal, it can never be erased from the fabric of time. Become something great, and live a life worthy of its blessing.

Bookmark It