Managing change in your life

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By John DeVries | February 18, 2008

While some of us enjoy change and adapt to it readily, others of us fear it, are loath towards it and will avoid change at all costs. Change can bring both the happiest moments into our lives and also some of the most difficult challenges. Regardless, change will always be with us and it’s pretty safe to assume that it will always bring something different than what we’ve previously experienced.

The question isn’t whether or not to be either in love with change or to hate it; change can at times be both healthy and/or debilitating.

The question should be this:

How can you best manage change in your life?

When you take the time to decide what level of change in your life is healthy, you must first establish what healthy change for you is. Each of us has a different level of change with which we can realistically adapt and grow. And I think our ability to cope with change rests on a number of the major factors including the following.

- How fluid is your past? Have you experienced and adapted to many life changes? Or, have you come upon very few circumstances that brought major new events into your life?

- How much change have you experienced recently? Are you bored or are you overwhelmed?

- How risk averse are you? Do you handle uncertainty well or do you fear the unknown?

- What is your maturity level when it comes to change? Do you start a new life journey kicking and screaming, or are you ready to jump on the bus?

- Genetics probably play a role as well. What tendencies do you have relating to change and adaptation?

Considering the questions above may be helpful, but they may not produce answers that will assist you in managing change in your life. Since your ability to handle change is highly subjective and individualistic, we’re going to try and quantify it a little bit to help you get a better idea of where you’re starting.

Take account of where you’re at

I’m going to steal the “Social Readjustment Scale” from doctors T.H. Homes and R.H. Rahe. Each category below has a number next to it called “Life Crisis Units”. Add up the points from any event that you’ve experienced during the last two years. Notice not all of these events are negative, the effect change has on your life and on your health doesn’t necessarily depend on whether it was perceived as good or bad. Even happy changes in excess can be stressful.

Click on the thumbnail or this link to view the chart.

The creators of this scale suggest that if you’re total is over 300 you are at severe risk of serious, negative physical or mental effects. Your probability for contracting a serious illness is around 80%. If you’re between 200-300 your odds of illness are around 50%. If you’re between 150-200 your odds are around 1:3.

Personally, I think this is a gross oversimplification. My score is about 388 and I haven’t been sick with even as much as a cold in 3 years. I’m a bit stressed, and I’m writing this article to share with you how I’m dealing with that, but to suggest I am going to contract a serious illness as a result of these circumstances is a bit drastic. I’ve been maintaining this level of change for too long, and it’s time for me to slow down a bit. However, there are people who could score 500 and say they don’t feel too stressed, while someone else may score 100 and feel like they’re on the edge of a mental breakdown. It’s a subjective test because your stress level is dictated by both your circumstances and your ability to adapt to them.

But, at least that will give you a number. I was higher than I thought, it helped me realize I need to be careful how much I undertake right now.

I would say the best indicator of your stress level would be to take account of how your mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health are doing.

Mental health

Are you having trouble concentrating? Forgetting more than normal? Do you often feel clouded, like you can’t make accurate decisions? You might be stressed, indicating you have an excessive amount of change in your life. Perhaps it’s time to cut back a bit.

Physical health

Are you sick often? Is your body developing strange problems you and your doctor don’t understand? This may be stress related. Do you feel fatigued or tired with a low energy level? Consider that these symptoms could be stress related.

Emotional health

Are you overreacting emotionally? Do you feel on the verge of tears or on edge for no particular reason? Do you find it difficult to express your emotions? These may be signals you have too much change in your life.

Spiritual health

Do you have an active connection with God or your spirituality? Are you spending time meditating, praying, or connecting to something larger than yourself in whatever way works for you? Do you feel like your life is purposeful? Or, are you too busy trying to manage stress to even think about it?

Given the above questions, you should probably have an idea of where your stress level stands. And your stress level is a fairly good indicator of whether or not you can handle more change.

Shake things up

If after all of that you’ve decided you’re not very stressed and there hasn’t been an excessive amount of change in your life, I would encourage you to initiate some of your own. Yes, it can be difficult at times, but the reward is that you become a better person. By challenging yourself and pushing yourself to your limits and beyond, you are reborn, discovering strength you never knew you had.

If things have been stagnant for you now for some time, I’m guessing you are already contemplating the thing you know you could do to improve your life. You’re probably already thinking it, but you’re also afraid.

Fear is natural. Do something different; Make a change.

Cut back

However, if you find yourself on the other end of the spectrum. It’s time to make some decisions. You must take care of yourself before you can be of use to others. If you scored high on the test above or simply feel like you’ve endured too much change recently, it’s time to cut back.

What areas of your life can you bring some stability to?

Check out Steve pavlina’s 12 different life areas. If you’re experiencing too much stress in your life, bring as many of those 12 areas into some kind of stable condition as you can. While you’re at it, listen to the podcast on truth and awareness. It’s enlightening.

It’s likely you’ll need not only to bring stability to some of these areas, you may also need to improve upon some of them. Ironically, bringing stability to your life may actually require change. If you’re allowing yourself to stay in an unhealthy cycle in any of these areas, getting out and changing them will actually create stability.

If on the other hand, you recently lost your spouse, have been diagnosed with cancer, or just got married, it may not be the right time to move across the country. Ultimately you’re the one who has to make the decisions, but take your stress level and your ability to adapt to changing circumstances into consideration.

Managing change

The best way to manage change in your life is to first establish where you’re at. Figure out how much change you’re currently enduring and decide how much is a healthy amount for you. If you need more, shake it up. If you’re stressed, slow down. You’re the one in charge of your life. Don’t just let things happen to you. Find ways to cope with difficult circumstances and push yourself to grow when nothing is going on.

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